Archive for hillary clinton

Who wears the pantsuit around here?

Posted in The News with tags , , , on June 16, 2008 by Adam Sapiro

(Blogger’s note: It’s time for a woman’s viewpoint around here. My sister offers her take on Barack Obama, who’s more than a woman to her.)

By Joan Beal

Dear Hillary Clinton supporters of the feminine persuasion. I know, I know, we’re all supposed to be pissed off. Rightly so. Our gal has lost.

Once again, a lesser qualified man has blazed past us, from outta nowhere, to get the promotion, grab the brass ring, and take away our spotlight. Quite honestly, though, I think women have actually won a huge victory in the Democratic primaries. If you look beyond the external (those pesky sex organs) I think you’ll agree: Barrack Obama is more like a woman than Hillary.

  • Obama says he wants to talk to Iran, to work things out … “C’mon Mr. Ahmadinejad, sir. You don’t really want to make weapons grade uranium, now do you?”
    Hillary thinks talk is for pussies. She wants to “obliterate Iran.”
  • Obama met his wife Michelle as his boss and mentor while working as a summer associate at the Sidley Austin law firm. Michelle wasn’t impressed with young Barry. He had to work hard to get her to notice him.
    Hillary Rodham walked up to a young and flustered (horny) Bill Clinton in the college library and introduced herself, saying, “If you’re going to keep looking at me, and I’m going to keep looking back, we might as well be introduced — I’m Hillary Rodham.” Yowza!
  • Obama looks terrific in a swimsuit, has a gorgeous smile, and can’t bowl (tee hee, another gutter ball!) to save his life. Hillary, well, um … she looks good in a pantsuit and can down a shot of whiskey with the good ol’ boys!
  • Obama said no to war in Iraq. Hillary gave W the go-ahead.
  • Obama talks about “we”….how we can do it, we are the change we’ve been waiting for. Always inclusive, not wanting to make anyone feel left out. Just like your third-grade teacher, Mrs. Evans. Hillary talked about herself. A lot. How experienced she was, how ready on day one she would be, how we could all go to and learn more about her! Just like the guy at the cocktail party trying to get in your panties.
  • Obama‘s greatest influences were his mother and grandmother, who raised him and taught him to share, be kind, use his words, and care for the less fortunate. Hillary‘s greatest influence was her father, Hugh Rodham. When Hillary brought home A’s on her report card, her Dad chided her that “it must be an awfully easy school.” Hillary has reminisced, “It was just like “Father Knows Best”!

So, dear female voters, rest assured, our gentler sex is well represented.
A vote for Obama is a vote for GRRRL Power! (What did you think that fist tap with Michelle meant?)

Joan Beal is a singer, wife and mother in the Los Angeles area. But she hasn’t gone all L.A.