I HAVE to wave the white flag of surrender and admit that Sarah Palin showed last night why she’s going to become our next vice president in January.

Americans eat up all the things she did in last night’s debate — that doggone folksy talk, the 247 “maverick” references, the shrewd “I’m not gonna answer the questions the way you want” disclaimer. She gave the people exactly what they want, and managed to make Joe Biden look a little old and confused along the way.

Half the time, I couldn’t tell who Biden was talking about — “John” or Obama — and he even mixed up their names at least once. (And did he have to say he “loves” McCain — twice?) He came off like Gore and Kerry in previous debates — just another stiff, know-it-all statistician, the kind of person Americans don’t want to watch on their bigass TV screens.

Tina Fey may do a pitch-perfect portrayal of Palin, but Palin herself is playing a character — and she’s nailing it too. This is a former beauty pageant contestant/TV newscaster we’re talking about — she knows how to make herself likable to judges and demographic groups.

I believe she’s been coached to answer questions as anti-intellectually as possible. I think if she had told Katie Couric she reads the Wall Street Journal and U.S. News & World Report, it would have cost her votes. I think she’s been instructed to pronounce it “noo-ku-lar.” I really believe she’s playing us, in both meanings of that phrase.

All Biden had to say was that our country has been hijacked by politicians in over their heads, that our nation has hit rock bottom and needs people of substance and experience to save it from the very real possibility of collapse. That we have to swallow our pride and vote for people who are better than us and not for drinking buddies.

Unfortunately, smarts are a liability in these debates — long, fact-filled answers don’t play well on TV, and they haven’t for a while. Americans would rather see the smart guy get knocked down a peg or two by a quick quip. And by playing to the hilt this character of the fiesty hockey mom with more moxie than brains, Palin is proving she’s the smartest one of all.


6 Responses to “DUMB LIKE A FOX”

  1. I couldn’t agree more. Being or playing dumb is an asset in this campaign. And pregnant teenage daughters (provided they’re white) are now role models. To quote D.L. Hughley: “When white girls get pregnant, they get a movie. When black girls get pregnant, they get a visit from a social worker and a box of condoms.”

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Most of the time, I cannot stand to watch the debates because they almost NEVER answer the questions. . .but she took it to a whole new level last night. . .Foreign policy? “Yeah-huh, I’d like ta go back ta energy, if I could.”
    ARGH. When she was asked about the subprime mortgage debacle, I thought we were going to hear Grandma Palin’s recipe for Deep-Fried Moose Testicles.
    I’m still holding out hope that people will see through this garbage and look beyond the frameless glasses, the winking, etc.

  3. How about the shout out to the third graders? My god. And the line about how she “has only been doing this for five weeks”?? Doesn’t that ring those alarms for anyone? I don’t want Marge Gunderson of FARGO anywhere near the White House. Actually, though, Marge was smarter than Palin…

  4. I’m afraid I can’t agree that she’s an intellectual – or even just a brilliant strategist — masquerading as a bimbo. I’m sure you are right that she was coached in the flash-over-substance approach, and that she mainly practiced a few key phrases to steer questions back to the areas she was comfortable with. The problem with Sarah Palin is that I don’t really believe she understands the depth of her limitations. I think she genuinely believes that flash is all you need to succeed. After all, it’s gotten her this far.

    There is nothing wrong with turning on the charm to help achieve one’s goals, but when we are talking about the VP of the USA, I would certainly hope that the charisma rests on a more cerebral foundation. Lipstick, winks and trash talk will only get her so far in negotiations with foreign leaders or even our own legislative branch. (Okay, that last point is debatable.) I think we’ve seen enough of what can happen when incurious anti-intellectuals are given key administrative positions.

    I think you give her more credit than she deserves. But then again, as a woman I guess I’m impervious to her diabolical beauty.

  5. Hey Adam,
    First of all, where’s Fred? Is he feeling OK? I’m worried he hasn’t posted a snarky, obscenity-laden reply yet. Maybe someone should check in on him…
    I’ve read reports that Palin is putting on a faux redneck accent, removing the final gs, adding quaint colloquialisms, and that she doesn’t really speak like that at all, but has been coached. Like Yale-educated Bush who spent his whole life in Connecticut and turned Texan after a couple of years. Reeks of Rovian tactics.
    Have you read “Deer Hunting with Jesus” by Joe Bageant…he seeks to answer the question of why the working poor vote for Republicans in apparent opposition to their own interests, and how Republicans exploit their desire to vote for someone “just like me!”

  6. Fred Googles Says:

    Marge smarter than Palin. Now that’s just fucking stupid. The F-bomb’s for you, joanie!

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