EVERY campaign, we hear the same buzzwords over and over again. And most Americans fall for them all, over and over again.

Barack Obama and John McCain and their respective posses are tossing out these buzzwords as fast as we can gobble them up. “Flip-flopper,” “elitist,” “establishment” — these words trigger gut reactions, but what do they even mean any more? Glad I asked…


At some point in our history, changing your mind became a bad thing, a sign of weakness. But our president hasn’t changed his mind on anything in eight years and where has that gotten us?

I have great respect for someone who can admit he was wrong when presented with new information. If that’s flip-flopping, so be it. It’s the pandering that disgusts me — when a candidate cynically and conveniently changes his stance or “moves to the middle” based on opinion polls and the mood of the voters. And everyone’s doing that in this race.


Um, you’re running for president of the United States. Is any job in the free world more elite? Don’t you want the smartest people around you if you get the gig?

Republicans crack me up when they try to paint Obama as an elitist, ’cause it ain’t easy for a black or biracial person to get into the elite in this country — that Obama did seems to indicate he’s got some balls and some smarts and that he won’t be denied. But that just might be the problem — when they call Obama an elitist, it seems to me like they’re really saying “he’s a smart black guy and we need to put him back in his place.”

Small-Town Values

Republican shorthand for “guns are a God-given right, and when an intruder breaks in and tries to rape your daughter, you can send him to Kingdom Come. But if your girl gets pregnant, she’ll have to have the baby.”

I grew up in a small town, and yeah, they’re nice and all, but you don’t see a lot of black people or Jews or foreigners or other such “undesirables,” and the people who live there can be pretty close-minded and sheltered, even if they can see Russia from their porch.

Turns out there are parts of this country where lots of people live. And guess what? They’re not so bad! Yet some Republicans wave the flag and profess their great love of country while spitting out the names of places like Massachusetts, Chicago and San Francisco as if they were Sodom and Gomorrah.

Our country is not simply a small town on a grand scale, and it can’t be governed like one. Anyway, can you really tout small-town values when you have enough houses to actually create your own small town?


That’s about all the money we’ll have left if someone doesn’t fix things fast.

There’s no need to keep bringing “change” up, guys — we get it, things suck now and you’re gonna make everything better. Now if you would just tell us how


The Republicans have painted Obama as an attention whore, lumping him in with Britney and Paris. Why, because he is hugely popular and draws big crowds and is good-looking and is “celebrated”? Sour grapes, anyone? I’ve seen McCain doing his shtick on “The Daily Show” about a dozen more times than Obama, and it was McCain’s wife’s $313,000 outfit that Vanity Vair dissected after the conventions. Sorry, but running for president puts you in the spotlight — to lash out if your opponent upstages you is childish.

Career Politician

Can we all just let this one go? By the time they get around to running for president, they’ve pretty much made a career out of politics. Would you rather we had a dentist in the White House, or an actor? Uh, never mind.



  1. Not a dentist, not an actor. . not even an actor who plays a dentist. . .but how about an unemployed editor taking up residence on Pennsylvania Ave.? I can already see your campaign slogan: “Because Words Matter.”

  2. Elitist Fred Says:

    Another left-wing rant comes screaming out of that “independent” closet. zzzzzzz

  3. Elitist Fred Says:

    Aw, screw it. Pass the Kool-Aid. I want to know what it’s like to pretend to be perfect!

  4. Yeah, yeah yeah … I can’t really focus on this election thing because I just saw an ad for the “all-new Hartford Courant.” It’s coming Monday! I’m so excited … I may have to change my Depends.

  5. 45vinyljunkie Says:

    Yeah, I’m also very excited about the new Hartford Courant. In fact, I’m so excited that I was able to throw away my lifetime supply of Viagra.

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