IT’S A TWO-PARTY SYSTEM AND I’LL CRY IF I WANT TO

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RED SOX fans hate the Yankees, and Yankees fans hate the Red Sox. It’s been that way for over a century, and it looks like it always will be.

For a lot of fans, their hatred of the other team is as great or greater than their love of their own team. And it’s that hatred that sells tickets and creates lifelong supporters. These two teams need each other to survive — it’s almost as if each team’s reason for being is to serve as the other’s archenemy.

I remember going to an outdoor concert in Massachusetts a few years ago, and as the crowd filed back to their cars after the show, they started an impromptu chant of “Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!” Huh? What does that have to do with Tom Petty (or whoever we just saw)? And why not chant “Red Sox Rule”? Why did they have to go negative?

I can’t be the only one who sees little difference between this red-blue rivalry and our two-party political system. This manufactured left wing/right wing dichotomy has led a lot of Americans to pick a side, and their crazed fandom has fostered an unreasonable hatred of the other side. Worse, it’s made for lazy politicking, which is obvious after two weeks of party conventions.

Our campaigning politicians never have to say who they are or what they’ll do. They simply have to not be the other side. Barack Obama has gotten a lot of mileage, naturally, out of not being President Bush. But the Democrats’ claims that a John McCain presidency will be another four years of Bush/Cheney are crap — McCain and Bush aren’t even in the same book, let alone on the same page.

But guess whose picture is on the front page of the Democratic Party’s website.  If you said Obama, you’re wrong. It’s John McCain hugging Bush alongside the words “More of the Same.” And the link for “Meet John McCain” is actually higher up than the link for “Meet Barack Obama” (and there are half a dozen other links criticizing McCain.)

If you really want to get the scoop on Obama, you’ll have to click on the big “Meet Barack Obama” link on the front page of — yep, you guessed it — the Republican Party’s website. Damn, that site devotes shitloads of space to the horror that is Barack Obama.

GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin devoted a good chunk of her speech Wednesday night to this “Yankees Suck” kinda stuff. (Hers was the only speech I listened to over the past two weeks — she was the wild card, the X Factor, the only person whose speech I couldn’t predict beforehand. So I felt I should listen.) Yes, she talked about her family and McCain’s “guts,” but she spent more time taking potshots at Obama than she did talking about herself. The biggest eruptions of applause during her speech came at his expense.

The crowd went nuts when she talked about the people who are “always proud of America,” but those words didn’t have anything to do with national pride — they were a jab at Michelle Obama, and the crowd knew it. She referenced Obama’s “bitterly clinging to religion and guns” quote, and spit out the words “establishment,” “media,” “San Francisco,” “read ’em their rights” and “personal discovery” with disgust.

Belittle Obama’s experience as a community organizer once, if you must. But twice? It’s amazing how she managed to make community service sound like a dirty word. And that gibe about Obama’s styrofoam Greek columns? It’s a great line — for Jay Leno.

But here’s the bit that really upset me: Palin quoted Democrat Harry Reid “of the ‘do-nothing Senate. He said, quote ‘I can’t stand John McCain.’ Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps no accolade we hear this week is better proof that we’ve chosen the right man.” So, the enemy of my enemy is my presidential nominee?

And that’s why the two-party system sucks. Hatred of and from the other side seems to be endorsement and qualification enough. It’s certainly enough to win our votes. And because these two rival parties have split our nation somewhat evenly, they’ve ensured that our hatred of the other will keep them both in power for a long time to come.

And the Red Sox will still suck the whole time.

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8 Responses to “IT’S A TWO-PARTY SYSTEM AND I’LL CRY IF I WANT TO”

  1. My wife and I were discussing this very issue last night, Adam. . .this whole “lesser of two evils” that dominates the way we vote, it’s hard to believe these are the best choices we have for the presidency. . .they spend next to no time talking about how much they can do for our country, it’s all about the awful alternative on the other side of the aisle.
    But I wholeheartedly disagree with you on that last Red Sox comment.

  2. Here’s the answer:

    http://bumperstickers.cafepress.com/item/just-dont-vote-bumper-sticker/302216775

    I’m starting a new party (what a stupid title that is). This is my slogan. Everyone’s welcome.

  3. way you go, scott — apathy will really show them what we think of them!

  4. Watching the nation be torn apart by something that’s more staged than pro wrestling is sad.

  5. And it’s not apathy. It’s ardor.

  6. 45vinyljunkie Says:

    Yep, it looks like Ralph Nader will get my vote again this year. That way I can always say that I did the American thing and voted, but when the president screws up everything, I can honestly say, “Don’t blame me. I voted for Nader.” Oh, and before anybody reading this tells me that everything will be hunky-dory when Obama takes over, here’s a news flash for you: It really doesn’t matter who gets in office because they’re all assholes.

  7. No-Kool Aid Fred Says:

    Gee, 45. You don’t think Barry (SING LOUD, YOU GLORIOUS ANGELS!!!!!!) will immediately pave the streets with gold?!! Gasp. Gas will be a quarter a gallon, milk will be free for everyone, your salary will triple, the Muslim nutjobs will apologize for all that nasty shit they’ve been pulling for many more years than a Bush has been in office, there will be no more floods or hurricanes, the multi-thousand-year reign of poverty will be extinguished, and doctors will make housecalls to perform any and all medical procedures for free. … Did I miss something, Kool-Aid sluggers?

  8. I couldn’t agree more with this post. The two major parties offer a lot of vague promises (of being a maverick, of change, etc.), a lot in the way of criticisms of the other party candidates, but little in the way of their specific plans. And most of what is said doesn’t seem to matter once they’re in office. I was very sad to see Ron Paul did not make it as the Republican nominee. I think he is one of the few who says what he means, does what he says, gives plenty of specifics, and only criticizes other candidates’ on the actual policy issues. And I’m saying this as someone who has traditionally leaned Democratic. Once I began to listen to Dr. Paul, I finally understood what are supposed to be the true Republican values and found I agreed with most of them. Unfortunately, I also found that most of today’s Republicans don’t. They portray Ron Paul as radical, but in fact he has consistently, for around 30 years, voted along Constitutional lines, voted for smaller and less instrusive government, less taxes, fiscal prudence, and individual and states’ rights and responsibilities. Wow … really radical! The third party candidates from the Constitutional and Libertarian parties have candidates that agree with Dr. Paul on many issues. I’ll likely vote for one of them. I know there is essentially no chance they will win. But if we do not vote based on our values, how can expect our leaders to? How can we expect things will ever change? If we do not defend our freedom of choice, who will?

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