FORK, MOUTH AND DIGESTIVE JUICES NOT INCLUDED

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PRODUCT BASEMENT

Here’s another random selection of those products that make me go ‘huh’. Like this one: How dumb do the people at Sargento think we are?

The cheese company’s new line of Potato Finishers includes this helpful tip right on the front of the package: “JUST ADD Potato.” Umm, don’t you kinda START with the potato? And then add this shit on top? You don’t buy croutons and “just add salad” or syrup and “just add pancakes.”

And could that picture on the packaging be any more disgusting? From the looks of this gloopy mess, I think Sargento should have called this stuff Potato Happy Endings™, if you know what I mean.

Now here’s a product for a more, umm, discriminating clientele: Just Whites. “Contains no flavoring or coloring,” if you get their drift. Apparently, it’s the perfect solution for people who get out of their sheets in the morning and don’t want those brown eggs getting mixed into their breakfast. (Thanks to my friend Christine for tipping me off about this unfortunately named product.)

And finally … Now I know I have a dirty mind and all, but should one company be allowed to sell these two products simultaneously? (I suppose it could be worse — they could make EZ Squeeze Spotted Dick.)

Found a product that leaves you dumbstruck? Let me know at thismighthurtblog@gmail.com

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One Response to “FORK, MOUTH AND DIGESTIVE JUICES NOT INCLUDED”

  1. The Spotted Fred Says:

    I had to look it up:
    Spotted dick is a traditional English steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit (usually currants). Spotted refers to the dried fruit (which resemble spots) and Dick may be a contraction/corruption of the word pudding (from the last syllable) or possibly a corruption of the word dough.[1] It is possibly conjugated originally from sticky pudding to dicky pudding to dicky to dick and finally spotted dick as in pudding with raisins. It is also known as spotted dog, plum duff, steamed dicky, figgy dowdy, dotted lloyd, packphour’s lament, dicky widmark as well as plum bolster, dick in a box, “Richard with a dick”, Spotted Richard and, occasionally, Dickie Burton after the famous actor.

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