What lies ahead

Who needs a lie detector? Just listen for certain key words or phrases, and what follows will most likely be a heaping pile of crap.

Some simple yet surefire bullshit tipoffs:

  • “In all honesty …”
  • “Frankly …”
  • “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret …”
  • “I take you to be my wife …”
  • “Hi there. That’s a great car you’re looking at …”
  • “I remember one time …” (Hillary Clinton-specific)
  • “Your honor, my client …”
  • “Dad, can I borrow the car?”
  • “Good evening, my fellow Americans …”
  • “Tonight’s top story …”
Advertisements

2 Responses to “What lies ahead”

  1. Craig Giangiulio Says:

    Now that I’m a parent, I love lying to my children. I like to maintain the tradition. This blog is hilarious.

  2. 45vinyljunkie Says:

    Here’s another one you can add to your list:
    You know the bullshit is going to get pretty deep when the head of a major corporation starts his state-of-the-company speech with “Times are tough all over.” Translation: He’s still going to get his eight-figure salary — plus bonuses and stock options, of course. Meanwhile, the employees will have to be happy with an annual raise of 2.5 percent.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: