THE OVER/UNDER

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

Overrated: “Generation Kill” • Underrated: Generation X

Overrated: Scrabulous • Underrated: scrapple →

Overrated: “A History Of Violence” • Underrated: a moment of silence

Overrated: Katy Perry • Underrated: Perry Como

Overrated: Johnny Depp • Underrated: “Who’s Johnny”

Overrated: “Heroes” • Underrated: gyros

Overrated: M.I.A. • Underrated: OMD ←

Overrated: Electability • Underrated: Erectibility

Overrated: Sugarland • Underrated: Candy Land

NO MORE GAMES (Some More)

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

THANKS for the feedback on the I-hate-the-Olympics movie marathon post below. I used a list of Summer Olympics games to come up with the films and, being American and all, I interpreted Football as Football, and not Soccer. I thought about it later and realized I screwed up, so I’ve adjusted the post.

And here are the other Summer Olympics sports I couldn’t come up with movies for. Anyone have any ideas?

• Field events (like the long jump, pole vault and javelin)
• Badminton
• Gymnastics (“Gymkata,” anyone?)
• Handball
  
• Judo (Maybe “Goldfinger”? Didn’t Pussy Galore practice it, among other things?)
• Pentathlon/Triathlon
• Rowing (“Dead Poets Society”?)
• Taekwondo (how ’bout Rex Kwon Do in “Napoleon Dynamite”?)
• Weighlifting

A gold medal to anyone who can help fill in the gaps…

NO MORE GAMES (A Movie-Marathon Alternative To The Olympics)

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

I CAN’T believe it’s been four years since I completely ignored the last Summer Olympics. If you, like me, couldn’t give a shit about the ’08 Games, then I offer you this list of counter-programming.

Just turn off NBC and enjoy a marathon of these movies instead — you’ll get the games (kinda) without all the garbage.

I had only a few rules for the list — the sport had to be present in the film somehow, the athletes had to be amateurs, and the films had to be great … or at least pretty good.

So let the games be gone and let the marathon begin:

(And for more info on the films, click on the titles to go to their imdb.com pages.)

Archery: “The Adventures of Robin Hood” (1938) It hits the bullseye of fun. (How’s that for a tag line?)

Baseball: “The Sand Lot” (1993) Kinda like “Stand By Me,” but with baseball instead of a body.

Basketball: “Hoop Dreams” (1994) Great doc. (Runner-up: “Deadly Friend,” but only for the decapitation-by-basketball scene)

Boxing: “Twenty Four Seven” (1997) Black and white, British, and Bob Hoskins runs a boxing club.

Canoeing: “Without A Paddle” (2004) OK, it’s not that good, but I’ve never seen the obvious pick — “Deliverance” (and I’d rather watch the Olympics than see Ned Beatty squeal).

Cycling: “Breaking Away” (1979) Obviously.

Diving: “Back To School” (1986) Dangerfield doing “the Triple Lindy.” That’s comedy (well, it was in 1986).

Equestrian: “The Godfather” (1972) Yeah, this one’s a stretch, but has a horse ever had greater impact in a movie?

Fencing: “The Princess Bride” (1987) “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Field Hockey: “Ginger Snaps” (2000) A cool Canadian horror flick about teenage girls and “the curse.”

Gymnastics: OK, I’m stumped here. Does that awesome chase through the construction site in “Casino Royale” count as gymnastics?

Sailing: “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” (1975) There’s really only one scene in the whole film that takes place outside of the mental hospital, but when those inmates bust out…

Shooting: Sorry, but I can’t think of one movie with a gun in it.

Soccer: “Bend It Like Beckham” (2002) Fortunately, Becks isn’t in it — unlike our country.

Swimming: “The Big Bad Swim” (2006) A low-budget comedy about a swim class in Connecticut. Even so, it’s pretty good.

Table Tennis: “Ping Pong” (2002) A manga-based Japanese comedy-drama with cool CGI ping-pong action. (Runner-up: “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.” Who knew Winona Ryder had such talent?)

Tennis: “Match Point” (2005) Woody Allen managed to slip in a good movie this decade.

Track: “Run Lola Run” (1998) If you gotta watch someone run around and around, you could do worse than Franka Potente.

Volleyball: “Cast Away” (2000) Best use ever of a volleyball in a movie.

Wrestling: “Borat” (2006) Best use ever of a censor bar in a movie.

Well that should keep you busy. Oh, and if anyone knows of a movie with a badminton scene, let me know… (and no, “Bye Bye Birdie” doesn’t count.)

READY FOR THEIR CLOSE-UP (AND REALITY SHOW AND SEX SCANDAL)

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

ASK any 10 kids today what they want to be when they grow up and at least half of them will tell you they want to be famous. That’s not the upsetting part. The really disturbing thing is that they easily can become famous.

Fame used to be a pipe dream that required attendance at a funky New York arts school where you had to pay in sweat and dance on the roofs of taxicabs. These days, fame doesn’t take much. We already have a bunch of young celebrities who don’t really do anything other than be famous (which currently entails going to parties sans panties, making sex tapes, sharing nude cellphone pix, and driving into utility poles — all of which apparently “exhausts” them every six months or so.)

They’ve set a shitty example for today’s fame-seeking kids, who don’t necessarily want to sing or dance or entertain — they just want to be watched. To them, the untelevised life isn’t worth living.

It’s been almost two decades since MTV first aimed its cameras at a carefully chosen cast of “ordinary” youngsters for “The Real World.” Back then, the show was a novelty. Today, there are hundreds of programs and channels and websites that hold the key to no-talent-required celebrity.

“American Idol,” “Laguna Beach,” “The Hills,” “Big Brother,” “Kid Nation” and YouTube have shown that millions of people will watch adolescents do fairly unremarkable things. What has Heidi Montag done to become so famous other than be a bitch, jump in front of cameras, and renovate her boobs?

We’re in desperate need of a fame gatekeeper, someone who can parcel out attention to those who deserve it. Someone who would make sure we never have to hear about, say, Eliot Spitzer’s call girl again. It’s bad enough we were subjected to snippets of her crappy songs when the sex scandal made news, but now this attention whore/whore (I refuse to use her name) is pitching a reality dating show that would document her search for love. Who on earth could she possibly love more than her obsession with being famous?

Fame should be left to the pros (and not that kind). As always, I think the Pussycat Dolls sum it up best — here are some words of wisdom from their new single: “When I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies. When I grow up, be on TV, people know me, be on magazines. When I grow up, fresh and clean, number one chick when I step out on the scene. Be careful what you wish for ’cause you just might get it. You just might get it. You just might get it.”

Yeah, kids. Take a lesson on the pitfalls of fame from a suggestively named gaggle of interchangeable dancers with little vocal talent who discovered Auto-Tune and dressed up like hookers only to wind up international music superstars with hit albums, millions of fans, a reality show and their own clothing lines.

What kid would wish for that?